In 2005, Massachusetts State Senator Brian Lees (R-Hampden) withdrew his support for a constitutional amendment that would ban the right to same-sex marriage that had been guaranteed in the landmark Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court decision Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, an amendment that he himself had initially sponsored. He justified this change of heart by saying, “Gay marriage has begun, and life has not changed for the citizens of the Commonwealth, with the exception of those who can now marry.” Indeed, this is – or at least, should be – the crux of the argument for legalized same-sex marriage. Unfortunately, it was not an argument accepted by the people of California this Election Day, who passed Proposition 8, which limits “marriage” to the union of one man and one woman, by a slim margin. However, if the people of California had been informed of what the people of Massachusetts have known for some time, the result would certainly have been different.

As Senator Lees noted, same-sex marriage has not, in a substantive manner, changed life in Massachusetts, except for those who choose to exercise their affirmed right. Since that warm night on May 17, 2004, when couples lined up in Cambridge to enter into expedited unions, more than eight thousand same-sex couples have become legally wed in Massachusetts. Massachusetts has not, it should be noted, become a Las Vegas of same-sex marriage; in 2004, then-Gov. Mitt Romney (R-MA) invoked a rarely cited 1913 law which prohibited any out-of-state persons from marrying in Massachusetts if that marriage would not be legal in their home state. Not until July 2008 was this law repealed.

It is reasonable to argue that perhaps this should not have been done; requiring out-of-state couples to live in Massachusetts in order to marry would be an excellent means of carrying out the Commonwealth’s “City on a Hill” mission. The societal benefits of any such union recognized by Massachusetts, such as stable foster or adoptive families or good role models for gay and lesbian teens, would be evident to all as something done by and for citizens of Massachusetts, encouraging others to work for the same solid foundations in their own state or to migrate to Massachusetts. It would also show respect for federalism rather than goading other states into calling for a federal ban on same-sex marriage. Indeed, federal law does not require states to recognize marriages from any other state if they would be illegal there. Nevertheless, the point has been made to many reluctant Bay Staters like Sen. Lees; same-sex marriage is hurting nobody.

A large part of the reason that the scare tactics of the “Yes on 8” campaign succeeded in California was because the people of California did not truly get the opportunity to see what we saw in Massachusetts – equality – exist in their own state for more than a few months. For this reason, the “Yes on 8” sponsors, in the face of a decidedly anemic opposition, were able to mislead voters into thinking that the continuation of same-sex marriage would lead to the wholesale destruction of family, religion, and education in the Golden State. In Massachusetts, the situation was such that legislators were able to stall any prospect of these minority rights from being decided on by a majority of voters doing their duty of evaluating the situation and waiting until enough time had passed to make a rational decision. This rational decision was not to send this measure to the voters.

In another era, consummate Yankee John F. Kennedy said, in the heat of a pitched battle over an even darker form of oppression than that which we face today, “Let them come to Berlin.” Not only was he trying to point out the failures of the East German regime, but also the pride of the citizens of the West Berlin enclave of freedom. And so, I do not doubt that were Kennedy alive today, he, like his brother Ted today, would be standing with us. He too would realize after living with it for almost five years that same-sex marriage has injured nobody, and he would be saying, as I do, “Let them come to Massachusetts.” Whereas California and many other states have failed, Massachusetts, and now Connecticut, have proven resilient and now carry the mantle of equality for this entire nation.